Call in the HazMat Team!

This afternoon, you were playing on the floor with some of Jonah and Sadie's toys. I was sitting in the chair flipping through a magazine. I looked up and said, "What is all over Violet's leg?" You were covered in what appeared to be chocolate. I noticed a clump of something next to you. I was getting ready to yell at the kids for leaving food on the floor (even though I knew they didn't have chocolate today) when Jonah walked over to you and ran away screaming, "OOH. IT'S POOP!!!"

I went over to get a closer look, and sure enough, it was poop. It was not only all over your legs, but your arms, hands, feet, onesie, floor and the kids' toys! I picked you up and there were a few of the cards that you had been playing with poop-glued to your leg. It was awful! I asked Jonah to run a bath. While he did that, I did my best to get as much of it off of you as possible. It was a 10+ wipe situation. And the smell...oh my goodness!

The diaper was literally completely filled and oozing out all over. It was black and gooey with chunks of something that looked like raisins (which you have never had). After I carefully got you out of the onesie without depositing any more poop on you, I carried you to the bathtub and began the HazMat removal process. As I was doing so, I wondered out loud what on earth you could have eaten to have caused such an explosion and why it was so black. Jonah said, "Chocolate?" No. "Fig Newtons?" No. "Yogurt?" Definitely not. "Blueberries?" Of course!!! You ate a ton of blueberries yesterday! If I had known blueberries would cause this kind of reaction, you wouldn't have been constipated for the last 6 months! I have found a cure!

After getting you cleaned up, I went into the living room to survey the damage. It was worse than I thought! There was black/blue poop everywhere. Big pieces, little pieces, smeared pieces, poop hand prints, toys covered in poop, you name it. (Believe me, the picture does not even begin to do this situation justice)! I know you're thinking, good grief Mommy, how long was I sitting in my own feces? But I swear, I had just put you down on the floor not 5 minutes before and you were completely poop-free.

Jonah and I built a fence around the 'accident scene' with dining room chairs so that I could figure out how to remove it. I called Nana and she did a search and came up with vinegar and boiling water. Needless to say, our house no longer smells like a hazardous waste dump, but it does smell like vinegar! I'm not sure which is worse – but at least it worked.

The funniest part was when the kids tried to help me clean up. Jonah came in wearing a snorkel and giant clothes-pin on his nose and Sadie was wearing goggles!

Oh, the joy of motherhood!